All bosses have a job to do: planning, scheduling, making sure you achieve your goals so that they can achieve theirs, projects, presentations, managing staff, and so on. Their job isn’t to be your friend, but to manage. That being said, there’s a big difference between not being polite and being rude, not being nice and being harmful, not being complementary and being insulting.
The question: who’s the “bad boss” and who’s the “bully boss”?
- A Bad Boss is impolite, cold, and unappreciative.
- A Bully Boss is rude, harmful, and insulting.
Bully Bosses flex their corporate power and enjoy flaunting their superiority, whether it’s in the eyes of these above them, or in the eyes of your colleagues. They want to bring you down to make themselves feel above. The one thing you cannot control is them, the one thing you can control, is your reaction to the intimidation.
B.R.A.V.E. (Bully Resistance Anti Violence Education) is an organization that I have been a part of since 2004. B.R.A.V.E. develops methods to overcome bullying. The work place isn’t the play ground and we can’t deal with bullies the same way we did as kids. There are no teachers we can ask for help, or parents to go home to, but only ourselves. The solution is based on a set of skills: the confidence to stand tall, to deflection the attention, to diluting the tension with humour, and to eventually confront the individual.
The martial arts has taught me to stand up for what I think is right. It has taught me to assert myself with everyone, whether it’s a boss or coworkers. Just because they are your superior does not mean they have the right to intimidate. It’s important for everyone to have confidence and confidence is the core value of the martial arts! For more info on how to deal with bullies, check out BullyBrave.com